‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (in the Streets of Despair)

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the Streets of Despair
The stink of stale urine it hung the air
The homeless was huddled round a dumpster that night
In hopes that the PO-lice wouldn’t give ‘em a fright
The children was nestled all snug in the alley
While the Indian Nations danced in Death Valley
And mama in her kerchief, and me in my beret
Had just chugged a gallon of Gallo tokay
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my dumpster to see what was the matter
The moon on the breast of the urban decay
Gave a nightmarish luster to the wretched display
Hosanna on high, I heard someone mutter
As a drunk staggered past and threw up in the gutter
Then my eyes did behold a most glorious sight
A black and white squad car with a bright flashing light
And a big strapping driver, well over six feet
I knew in a moment he must be the heat
He was dressed all in blue, and I have to admit
He looked mighty scary with his revolver and shit
He looked like a peddler just opening his pack
Or a vision of a Nazi like you might see on crack
A huge snarling dog had he on a chain
The kind that’ll go for your jugular vein
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave us to know we had plenty to dread
More rapid than eagles his orders they flew
You I said you and yeah you I mean you
Raggedy Andy and Mother MacCree
Asses in gear, let’s see some ID
And he whistled and shouted and called us by name
Now Boozer, now Loser, now Abel and Cain
He wasn’t the kind you’d wanta reach out and touch
Cuz he treated us like we was garbage and such
As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly
We gathered around with a tear in our eye
A fella who lost both legs in the war
Said I don’t feel like human being no more
Then a grandmother lady poked a hole in the sleaze
And I heard her mutter listen to me please
I’ll tell the world that somethin ain’t right
When a mother of three aint got no bed for the night
But the biggest joke, oh mama mia
Is when people walk by and pretend they don’t see ya
As for me I wished that I’d slept in a thicket
When I heard that cop say he was gonna give us a ticket
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
The citation I got made me feel like a jerk
Three hundred bucks for sleepin outside
Where festering feces and garbage abide
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And in so many words he gave us to know
The law is the law is the law is the law
It was the goddamnedest thing that I ever saw
Then laying a finger aside of his nose
Well you know how the rest of it goes
He sprang to his cruiser, to the dog gave a whistle
Frowning as if he’d wiped his ass with a thistle
And I heard him exclaim ere he got on the trail
Next time motherfuckers you’re goin to jail

© Donald O’Donovan 2010

Books by Donald O'Donovan
The Sugarhouse
Night Train